Ideas
by Tinten
Summary: Surely Christmas with a load of Vampires was going to be different, but what happens when Edward has other ideas?Disclaimer: All characters belong ot stephenie meyer, i am not stephenie meyer but GOD do i wish!
1. Christmas

I looked over at the driver; still after all this time together i could never keep my eyes away, nor believe he was mine, all mine. How could something so perfect, so...complete, be made for someone like me? The fact is, it doesn't work like that, and i new that someday i was going to mess it up, like everything i do. We're going to Edwards place for "Christmas Dinner", joy! Ill be sat there eating a whole plate full of potatoes and turkey while a whole table of vampires sit observing my every move, this was going to be one of the human experiences' i wasn't going to miss.

"You look worried." i looked into those liquid topaz eyes and momentarily forgot my trail of thoughts, as he intended.

"I am." i sighed.

"theres no need to be" he took my hand in his and made me look straight into his perfect features. "Everyone's really looking forward to seeing you."

I raised an eyebrow. "everyone?" it was a known fact that Edwards 'sister', Rosalie, hated me to the fiery pits of hades.

"Yes, everyone." he emphasized the 'everyone' part. "wow". i muttered. and i heard my favorite light musical laugh.

Before i knew it we were at the elusive Cullen Residence. Alice was waiting at the door before we even got out of the door, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Merry Christmas, Bella!" she called running to a stop at my feet and kissing me lightly on the cheek. "merry Christmas, Alice." she pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Now, dearest brother." she rounded on Edward with a grim expression. "I had a rather-"She hesitated, searching for the right word "- disturbing vision of you today." She looked at him arrogantly. "Does Bella know your festive plans?" His face was blank but i could see his jaw tighten and was there a faint tint of pink in his cheek bones? No. Not possible. But i think i could tell, he was uncomfortable.

"Thats none of your business Alice."He glared. What could be so bad that he hadn't told me? Or So bad that Alice and he were being so edgy? I knew it, I knew it was too good to be true. He was leaving me. At Christmas?

Alice frog-marched us up to the house and through into the large expanse of room. I was horrified. there in the far west of the room was a large oak dining table, every member of the Cullen household was seated around the table, according to Alice's specifically designed table plan i presumed.

I stood rooted to the spot as i analyzed the huge Turkey the size of a small bear, the mountain of roasted potatoes and what looked like a forest of vegetables. "Alice." i breathed. "that better not all be for me." She laughed her tinkling laugh and i felt Edwards arms slink around my waist.

"You wont have to put up with this much longer." He whispered in my ear. i froze, was this it? Was this the end? I would no longer have the pleasure of the Cullen's company. I would no longer look into those liquid topaz eyes. i turned in his arms till i was facing him. "don't leave me!" i breathed. he sighed and looked over at the table of vampires, pointedly not looking at us. "I'm afraid thats not going to be possible." he looked at me with a sad expression and walked over to the table and sat in between Carlisle and Emmett. I took the only free place at the head of the table, all eyes on me.

"Merry Christmas, Bella." Esme smiled at me. I smiled slightly back. Emmet began speaking to Edward and Carlisle was pulling a cracker with Esme.

"So," Alice turned to me "Any new years resolutions?" Just a few. "Yeah, stop being such a klutz." i muttered, she laughed and i saw a faint smile appear on Rosalie's face. "You?" I asked Alice

She thought for a moment. "yes." I raised an eyebrow.

"Even vampires have faults Bella." I caught her flash a sharp and pointed glance at Edward, so quick i thought id made it up. "I'm going to miss you." She said, her face suddenly filled with sorrow.

"Why?" i asked although i feared i already knew the answer. Edward suddenly stood up and so did Alice.

"Alice i cant take it any more!" Edward said loudly.

"I just cant believe your doing this...Its Christmas for gods sake!" She retorted.

"Bella i have something i have to say, shall we step outside?" He threw a sharp, pointed look at Alice.

I rose, eager to leave the awkward eyes but dreading what lie in wait outside. I followed Edward quickly outside.

"Ive been thinking" he paused. "Bella i-"

"Stop!" i breathed. A silent tear dripped down my cheeks. "I don't want to hear it Edward, i know your going to leave me!" I cried. "I've always known someone as perfect as you and someone so...so...so..." My sobs came in floods now. He looked at me horrified.

"You think I'm leaving you?" He asked, disgust ran through his voice. I looked up, confused.

"I don't understand, all that stuff with Alice and you not sitting next to me an-"

"Stop." He held up a hand. "I'm not leaving you, Bella." He paused. "I'm leaving _with_ you." He smiled and brought me into an embrace. "Alice had _placed_ me there to try and stop me leaving with you. You silly, silly girl." He laughed into my hair. "Ive cleared it with Charlie, it was a surprise Christmas present for you, I'm taking you away for Christmas so we can be alone together for the holidays, i thought you might like it." He shrugged. I looked up at him.

"But why was Alice behaving like that?" I asked.

"Alice was annoyed because she wanted to see you this Christmas and didn't want us to go away because" He imitated Alice's voice"'Christmas is a time for family!'" He sighed. I heard a shriek of annoyance come from the house.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, if i gave you that impression." I laughed at my stupidity and hearing me laugh, i felt something cold and wet touch my ear. I looked around and it was snowing.

"Now, tell me" he said pulling away so he could see my face. "Do you want to spend Christmas alone with a vampire?"

I reached up and kissed him on his ice cold, marble lips. "of course." i whispered.

"Good." He smiled. "one more thing, would you prefer to leave now or stay for a delightful dinner with vampires?" He asked mockingly. we both laughed. i turned to the house.

"Best say goodbye or Alice would never forgive me." i sighed and trudged up the porch.

"Oh, Bella?" i turned and Edward was there right behind me. "Mistletoe." He whispered and i looked up at the huge garland above us.

Ah yes, Merry Christmas indeed.

A/N: Okay, this was jut a one-off story for christmas, first fan fic ( yay!), but i might go further with it, not to sure. **If so it might kind of be writen in the style of bridget jones' diary: Edge of reason. **Thoughts on that please!!! so please comment/critisize, but dont be too harsh please thanks x


	2. My grilfriend wet her pants

Thanks for those of you who reviewed D

i know the first chapter was pretty pointless and, well crap, but it was only meant to be a one-of story but i wanted to write more :D

Everything will get so much better after this chapter. I have a plan which involves Alice and her mischievous ways D

I AM NOT STEPHENIE MEYER ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO HER.

"Edward, where exactly are we going?" I said. He smiled and pulled me into his chest.

"A little village called Mains in Germany. Its a beautiful place." He glanced up at the board announcing plane arrivals and departures. "Okay Bella, we have twenty minutes, were going to get you a bite too eat."

After that we boarded the plane and I took my seat nearest the window. A beautiful curvaceous air hostess came up to us - Edward to be more precise - and asked us if we needed anything, quite _obviously_ flirting. She handed Edward the glass of water he requested and i pouted as she left. Edward laughed at my jealousy.

"I only have eyes for you, love." he said kissing my forehead, i rolled my eyes. He laughed and he whispered something into my ear so no one else could hear "You know...i was thinking of signing us up for the mile-high club, what do you say?" i burst out laughing and ignored the weird glances people were giving me.

"You can't be serious?" i chocked out finally. "How can being a mile-up make you want to...to...well...'you know'...when you don't feel.." I paused, trying to think of the right word and stuttering incoherently because of the subject matter "feel so..._inclined _with both feet firmly on the ground!?" I blushed madly whilst staring at him. His eyes shone wickedly, filled with desire. He had to be joking. We were still whispering so that no-one else heard.

"Well not that I'm an _expert_ Bella, but i imagine it may be quite hard to 'you know', as you so boldly put it, with both feet stuck firmly on the ground." He gave me a crooked smile to which i scowled at.

"Well the answers still 'no'!" i turned to face the window, sulking. I heard a faint musical chuckle.

"I think you need to have some fun Bella." He purred over my shoulder. I shuddered as i felt his icy breath on my shoulder.

He took his glass of water and quick as a flash poured it over my jeans. I gasped at the coldness of it and all ready he Had called over the curvaceous air hostess.

"Excuse me, ma'm." He said in a slightly louder than necessary voice. The whole aircraft was turning to see where the gasping came from and the velvet voice.

"But my girlfriend had an...accident... i don't suppose you have any spare pants on board? She has a bladder condition and didn't make it in time." He obviously dazzled her and she stood there speechless. The plain broke out into appalled whispers and i flushed a shade any postbox would be proud of.

"Er...sorry sir...but the airline dosn't carry those on board. I can get you some tissues?" She said to him and looked slightly disgusted when she looked toward the water on my pants. I couldn't believe he was doing this!

"Thank you. Oh and please keep this to yourself, my girlfriend gets quite sensitive about this issue." She nodded and walked off. I stared at him, my mouth open. I felt water well in my eyes at the humiliation.

"You...you..." I steamed. He raised his eyebrow.

"'I' what?" he grinned.

"you asshole!" He was physically taken aback by my use of language, he had never heard me swear so bad before.

"Bella...it was only a joke...i didn't mean..." I saw how upset he looked and i felt bad. But he needed teaching a lesson. So i let the tears spill over my eyes and raised my voice. He would never forgive me for this but i decided to beat him at his own game.

"No Edward!" I sobbed. "I've had enough! First you humiliate me in front of all your friends and then you threaten me when i say i wont have sex with you in the toilets!" I heard all the plane break out once again in whispers. People shouted out things like 'jerk' and 'God, just buy a magazine!' I could see Edward speechless, i winked at him to let him know i was joking and carried on fake-sobbing. I saw the look of shock turn to rage. He put his arm around my shoulders and put his head right to my ear.

"Isabella Marie Swan. You EVER try something like that again, and so help me i _will not_ be able to keep my hands of you!" I pulled away from him in an instant. Was Edward truly threatening me?

"Because believe it or not," He sighed "You look so incredibly sexy when your being mischievous. Even if it does cost me extreme forms of humiliation."

I laughed and rested my head against his shoulders. I didn't realize how tired i was until i woke up facing the ceiling of a fancily decorated hotel.

"Good evening, love." came a melodic voice in my left ear. I smiled and pulled him round so that he was facing me. He lent down and kissed me lightly on the nose before pulling away and smiling at me. I frowned and he laughed.

"I dont think that kiss was quite satisfactory Mr Cullen!" I scowled and he played along, looking sorrowful "Now, either you live up to your reputation or i will simply have to replace you!" He laughed and pulled me into a passionate kiss. This was different to the others, rough yet wonderful and soft. I bit down on his lip and his tongue met mine.

Finally when my stupid need to breathe got the better of me we broke away. Our breathing was erratic and then my stomach rumbled. He looked at me with my favorite lopsided grin.

"Feeding time for the human, i think." I tried to protest but then i really was starving. I'd forgotten i hadn't ate since we left the airport in America. He carried me all the way down to the bar at the hotel. The receptionist gave us directions to a resteraunt in the center of the village and he watched me as i ate my food. I finished my schnitzel (German dish: Meat in breadcrumbs) and Edward started to walk us back to the hotel.

"So, Mr Cullen." I put on my posh voice."What is on the agenda for the rest of this evening?" We'd come to a stop. He paused, thinking.

"What would you like to have on tonights agenda Miss Swan?" I blushed deep red. He sighed guessing my answer.

"Bella" he dropped the act "Anything could happen and there is a great chance that i could hurt you!" I looked at him, all afternoon he'd been hinting and making innuendos.

"But what about all you were saying earlier on? All that stuff on the plane?" I looked into his eyes pleadingly and he sighed.

"Look," I could see his restraint dissolving. I was winning the fight. "I'm not saying it has to be perfect I'm not even saying we have to see it through, I'm just saying _try_..."

He muttered something inaudible an sighed.

"Fine. But you have to promise me, Isabella Swan" He grabbed my face in his hands, forcing me to look straight into his eyes "That the minute I'm too rough, or the minute i hurt you...you tell me. Promise?"

"I promise." He smiled.

"Good. Now" He knocked one of his arms behind my knees and flipped me over so that he was carrying me in his arms "On with tonights agenda..." I muttered under my breath about being flipped over.

"oh yes, and i dont think we ever discussed your language on board that aircraft today..." he began. I smiled to myself.

"Did it shock you, Mr Cullen?"

"Oh indeed, Miss Swan!" he looked at me with a false look of anger on his face. "I must say, you have fire inside you that burns deeper than the pits of hades!"

I tried to give him an alluring look as i grazed his earlobe.

"I'll let you be the judge of that." Suddenly i felt the wind rushing past us and realized we were back in our hotel room. He threw me on the bed and purred as he pulled me into his lap.

"Ill get back to you on that one."


End file.
